So, here I am. Much of what people would say about me is that I'm a bit shy, however, most the time, they find I open up rather easily pending who you are. I once completely opened up to one of my former professors about my life, more than I thought I would ever actually. Who knows, maybe I am a bit more upside down than I think. I'm working as a counselor intern right now at the House of Hope in Mankato. I love it there, I truly do. I love the atmosphere and the people I work with. Addiction is truly a wonderful field, I think I learn something new just about everyday. I've learned a lot while working there even. One thing I do know, no matter where I work, I will always miss my kids...even though, Madeline is a bit of wear and tear on a persons soul. Madeline, or I call her Maddy is 3. She is the most ambitious child I've ever seen at the age of 3. So far the doctor and I agree that she has ADHD and impulsive like behaviors, what that means, who knows. I know that as a child I to had ADHD, and I did horrible in school. It's no wonder I ended up transferring to a alternative high school with smaller class sizes. I'd only hope they can work with her before it reaches that point. She however plays well with her brother, occasionally they do fight, but what brother and sister don't.
Which that then brings me to my next child, Aiden. he's such a lover. He does have a temper, but not unless someone's picking on him or he's having a bad day. Oh man, I love them both, but being a parent is sure hard some days. I'm also 7 months pregnant, the one time my husband and I have time to have sex, I get pregnant, go figure. This will be our last child, not only that, I don't know that my body will tolerate another pregnancy.
I can't wait to start working out again and being back to my old self. Which to my knowledge is the person on the right hand side of the upper corner. Who knows, hopefully it will be easier this time around since I know exactly how hard I have to work...best prepare before I get there right?!
That brings me to my next person, my husband Jon. We've been together since I was 16...which that would make it 8 years now. We've however only been married for 2 years, but lived together for at least the last 4 years. We've had our struggles, and still do. I think we both have personality issues that need adjustment some days, but who I am to talk, I'm only a counselor, I don't know that much. I'm a college graduate, with technically no job. Once I'm finished with my internship I'm going to be totally clueless. I've never in my life not had something to do...I've always been in school, or working. I've always gone right back to work after each child, and now, I'm clueless. Who knows, maybe I'll find myself liking being home and relaxing...which I'm sure won't happen anyways, lord knows I have enough house work that needs to be done. I honestly can't wait to find a job and be settled enough to where we can buy another house, I sure would like that!
However, I've considered going back to Grad school, applied even. Don't know the result, but I don't feel very positive. A part of me feels that no matter how good of a student I was towards the end of my undergraduate degree, nothing will tell them that I'm serious...my GPA isn't all that great. But, I had some serious issues happen through my undergrad...none of which anyone can understand besides this one professor of mine, Aaron Jeffrey...which, he's an awesome professor, cute too might I add. I really would like to get my LMFT but, who am I to talk about marriage, mine sure isn't perfect? But, then I wonder if his is too? I mean, he's been married for 11 years (how I know that?), I found his wife's website while browsing the web. Very cute family and portrays to be perfect, but how do I know if it really is. I know he doesn't believe in divorce, but, one thing I can't stop thinking about when it comes to people's issues, is, sometimes, some things just can't be fixed. And, maybe that's my negative thinking, but how does one fix feelings that won't go away? I mean, I can resolve issues with friends, my husband or whatever, but I can't necessarily forget about them, and if you can't forget about them, how do you in fact resolve them? Still something I'm working on, and something I've been thinking about for quite awhile now. Who knows, maybe one day, it will all just come to me and I'll finally figure everything out and maybe that will be the day I decide whether or not I would make a good LMFT. I certainly think everything I've been through in my life would qualify me, but my thinking goes both ways, marriage and family is difficult, and there are many issues that could conflict. Money, sex, stress, friends, and everything can affect a relationship of any kind, and who am I to judge whether someone can handle all that and stay in a good relationship? Is school the only thing that qualifies me, or do I need experience as well? Who knows. There are certainly things I doubt, and certainly things I don't agree with, and could frankly argue with just about anybody, but really, life is hard, so that makes relationships hard, so who am I to judge? So anyways, that was my little rant on the whole LMFT thing. So, I've told you a little intro into my life, I guess you'll have to watch and see what else I can come up with. I'm sure there will be days I do and don't blog, or days where I'll have plenty to say, or not so much at all. I'll end with the notion that no one can make your opinions for you, you must in fact do the research yourself, look into your own insights, and figure your answers out on your own...although, asking for some help from time to time, isn't always bad either!
