I'm getting there!

Well, the time is flying, only wish it would a little bit more. I'm 29 weeks pregnant, and I have my next growth scan on Tuesday. I don't feel very big, so I hope everything is going good. Few people have mentioned how small I look also. So, hopefully baby has put on some weight...or I'm afraid I'll be induced before I would like to be. I would really like a full term baby...even though I met a women yesterday who had a full term baby and her baby still ended up in the NICU.

I still think everyone in my house has the swine flu. Thankfully, I got every room sanitized and cleaned, and all the laundry done besides the socks, which seems to be a problem most the time in this household. I don't know why we end up with so many socks...oh wait, it's probably because we get too busy...but oh well. Tonight is my plan to get that done as well as my little cousins pillow that I have been too sick to make. The fabric is awesome, so I hope he likes it.

Anyways, post more later maybe. Need to do some activities with the kids before they go to haywire around here!

Picture Post for those in the warmer climates...

Nick and Aiden on his leave!
Maddy and me on her 3rd birthday party!
Nick and Mike, never know about those two...
Jon and Nick
Maddy and Nick
Nick and I
Mom, Nick, Me, and Jon munching on the goods!

Well, I need more time to be able to put more pictures up for those of you who are in California. You suck...as soon as I get offered that great job I'm moving out there and getting myself a pool as well! Have fun and stay safe!
And Ronnie, stay out of trouble!

What day is it again?

Well, it's about 9 a.m. on Thursday. Madeline came into my room around 2 a.m. again. Luckily enough for me, she went back to sleep on her mattress within an hour. Aiden slept all through the night, as usual. Both are strangely in a good mood this morning. We decided to have today as our lounge day. We are all wearing our pajamas and cuddling on the couch. Of course, they are watching Dora...I swear, If I hear we did it one more time, I may discontinue my cable. Of course, I get lucky enough to be on "vacation" when Maddy starts getting sick. I noticed her nose running yesterday with a slight cough. Today she's coughing more, only time will tell if she is going to get real sick. I'm thinking this time may go different since she just got some steroid shots about a month ago. Well, I can hope right? Aiden of course if just fine today in his army pajamas. I am a little worried about Aiden. He seems as though he's not eating much, and he seems thinner. Jon was always very skinny growing up. He was so skinny, you looked fragile. I worry that may happen with Aiden, but I hope not. I don't want him to be fat either, but I can only watch and see. Aiden has been more active too, so that could be why he seems thinner, or maybe he's just getting taller! He's been weirdly attached to me...he doesn't want to stay at daycare, nor let me leave. Maybe he is just acting weird...who knows with these kids anymore.

Nick and Twyla have their first ultrasound today, which she's already about 4 months along from what the doctor says. I'm so excited to find out what he's having, I sure hope they can tell today, that would be awesome! I guess the Army is letting her take a honorable discharge, because their team is leaving to Afghanistan soon, and she can't fly over there being pregnant. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what they say later.

Oh man, I can't believe it's September already. I am excited to have another baby, yet very nervous at the same time. I think if Maddy were less hyper and impulsive it wouldn't be so bad. I have to keep a constant eye on her, or she may cut her hair off, slice her finger off, run out into traffic, or worse. I get so nervous about her somedays, I can only hope that maybe the school will call me back and tell me they can start working with her again. I'm hungry, but don't know what for. I'm sick of cereal, and yogurt. Thankfully I can go pick up some fruit today. My hernia was huge this morning when I got up. I'm starting to get nervous about it...I mean when my maternal fetal specialist scanned it, it didn't look like it was at the dangerous point yet, but then again, having a part of the intestine stick out of your pelvic region isn't always the prettiest site either, and it HURTS! My gosh...I never thought it would but it does now. I'm thinking it's because the baby is growing too, and the added pressure probably doesn't help too much. I have my next growth scan next week so hopefully I will hear good news. Then next week the baby and I have our next specialty scan and to check all baby's organs again and etc. So, again, hopefully good news will come of that!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Boy is time sure flying by...September already? It's about 7:30 a.m., I've been up since 6 a.m., lord knows I can't sleep fully ever. Madeline was up at 1:50 and stayed up until about 6 a.m. this morning. So far, she got into my chapstick, suitcase, finger nail clippers, eye shadow, and god knows what else I'll find in between my dozing off spurts. I honestly don't know what to do with her anymore. I've tried everything, and yet, it still seems like none of her doctors are worried...too much anyways. The school district hasn't returned any of my calls yet either. I realize they have so many kids, but sometimes, I just feel so alone with her. I feel like a bad parent, and I feel like I went wrong somewhere.

Aiden has been more than attached lately also. Not sure what's going on there...maybe he knows Mommy is having another baby...I mean, baby's can sense things after all right? Anyways, who knows. Here's to the start of my day. We'll see where I end up by the end of the night.
Working in the office today as well as working on pillows and blankets!
I finally got the NICU photography pictures back! I think they turned out pretty good!

Monday, August 31, 2009

So, here I am. Much of what people would say about me is that I'm a bit shy, however, most the time, they find I open up rather easily pending who you are. I once completely opened up to one of my former professors about my life, more than I thought I would ever actually. Who knows, maybe I am a bit more upside down than I think. I'm working as a counselor intern right now at the House of Hope in Mankato. I love it there, I truly do. I love the atmosphere and the people I work with. Addiction is truly a wonderful field, I think I learn something new just about everyday. I've learned a lot while working there even. One thing I do know, no matter where I work, I will always miss my kids...even though, Madeline is a bit of wear and tear on a persons soul. Madeline, or I call her Maddy is 3. She is the most ambitious child I've ever seen at the age of 3. So far the doctor and I agree that she has ADHD and impulsive like behaviors, what that means, who knows. I know that as a child I to had ADHD, and I did horrible in school. It's no wonder I ended up transferring to a alternative high school with smaller class sizes. I'd only hope they can work with her before it reaches that point. She however plays well with her brother, occasionally they do fight, but what brother and sister don't.

Which that then brings me to my next child, Aiden. he's such a lover. He does have a temper, but not unless someone's picking on him or he's having a bad day. Oh man, I love them both, but being a parent is sure hard some days. I'm also 7 months pregnant, the one time my husband and I have time to have sex, I get pregnant, go figure. This will be our last child, not only that, I don't know that my body will tolerate another pregnancy.

I can't wait to start working out again and being back to my old self. Which to my knowledge is the person on the right hand side of the upper corner. Who knows, hopefully it will be easier this time around since I know exactly how hard I have to work...best prepare before I get there right?!
That brings me to my next person, my husband Jon. We've been together since I was 16...which that would make it 8 years now. We've however only been married for 2 years, but lived together for at least the last 4 years. We've had our struggles, and still do. I think we both have personality issues that need adjustment some days, but who I am to talk, I'm only a counselor, I don't know that much. I'm a college graduate, with technically no job. Once I'm finished with my internship I'm going to be totally clueless. I've never in my life not had something to do...I've always been in school, or working. I've always gone right back to work after each child, and now, I'm clueless. Who knows, maybe I'll find myself liking being home and relaxing...which I'm sure won't happen anyways, lord knows I have enough house work that needs to be done. I honestly can't wait to find a job and be settled enough to where we can buy another house, I sure would like that!

However, I've considered going back to Grad school, applied even. Don't know the result, but I don't feel very positive. A part of me feels that no matter how good of a student I was towards the end of my undergraduate degree, nothing will tell them that I'm serious...my GPA isn't all that great. But, I had some serious issues happen through my undergrad...none of which anyone can understand besides this one professor of mine, Aaron Jeffrey...which, he's an awesome professor, cute too might I add. I really would like to get my LMFT but, who am I to talk about marriage, mine sure isn't perfect? But, then I wonder if his is too? I mean, he's been married for 11 years (how I know that?), I found his wife's website while browsing the web. Very cute family and portrays to be perfect, but how do I know if it really is. I know he doesn't believe in divorce, but, one thing I can't stop thinking about when it comes to people's issues, is, sometimes, some things just can't be fixed. And, maybe that's my negative thinking, but how does one fix feelings that won't go away? I mean, I can resolve issues with friends, my husband or whatever, but I can't necessarily forget about them, and if you can't forget about them, how do you in fact resolve them? Still something I'm working on, and something I've been thinking about for quite awhile now. Who knows, maybe one day, it will all just come to me and I'll finally figure everything out and maybe that will be the day I decide whether or not I would make a good LMFT. I certainly think everything I've been through in my life would qualify me, but my thinking goes both ways, marriage and family is difficult, and there are many issues that could conflict. Money, sex, stress, friends, and everything can affect a relationship of any kind, and who am I to judge whether someone can handle all that and stay in a good relationship? Is school the only thing that qualifies me, or do I need experience as well? Who knows. There are certainly things I doubt, and certainly things I don't agree with, and could frankly argue with just about anybody, but really, life is hard, so that makes relationships hard, so who am I to judge? So anyways, that was my little rant on the whole LMFT thing. So, I've told you a little intro into my life, I guess you'll have to watch and see what else I can come up with. I'm sure there will be days I do and don't blog, or days where I'll have plenty to say, or not so much at all. I'll end with the notion that no one can make your opinions for you, you must in fact do the research yourself, look into your own insights, and figure your answers out on your own...although, asking for some help from time to time, isn't always bad either!